Are Gender Stereotypes Real ?

Recently, I had asked five people the simple question, "Do you think you are a stereotypical man or woman?" Only one out of those five people stated that they did conform to their gender stereotype. The foundation of how our society runs is on the basis of gender/gender identity. People are encouraged to be one way or the other and nothing in between. I was shocked to have found how many people are put into a category that they do not conform to.

Something I found interesting was that four out of the five people I talked with had a difficult time gauging what the modern stereotype was for gender today. When I asked my roommate if she felt she was a stereotypical woman, she replied with “what you mean, like, from the 1950s?”. I had another friend state that she firmly believed the stereotype for modern women was to be assertive and hardworking. Maybe I just have cool friends, but I thought that was refreshing to hear and I honestly agree. Especially considering the modern “That Girl” trend where women strive to be as productive and hardworking as possible in multiple aspects of their life including physical and mental health, work, and school, there is definitely a higher standard that young women are setting for themselves today.

Four out of five people I interviewed said that they did not exactly conform to one stereotype or gave “I kind of am, I kind of am not” responses whereas only one person said that they did fit the stereotype. One friend said she was a stereotypical girl because she has long hair, wears makeup, is always trying to be nice, is not confident driving, has mostly female friends, identifies as a “girls’ girl”, loves pink, sparkles, dresses/skirts, and simply would not want to be a guy. Another friend said she was a stereotypical girl because loves shopping and is into ambitious, career-driven men that drive nice cars. She also added, however, that she does not completely fit the stereotype of a woman since she loves superhero movies, watching sports, and is on the aggressive side. When it comes to the male stereotype, one male-identified person claimed to have only partially fit it. He explains, "I live with a bunch of guys, like to watch and play sports, eat a lot, drink beer, and not talk about my feelings too much". However, he also expressed that he did not conform to the male stereotype in that he really enjoyed having female friends (sees women as more than just objects of lust/romance) and listened to the kind of music that his other male friends would deem as “weird” or "too emotional". He also added that he did not need to constantly be in the company of other men to feel “manly enough”. I had not thought about it before, but it is true that our society does view men that have lots of female friends as not very “masculine”, and women with plenty of male friends as not "feminine" as if male-identifying and female-identifying people must stay separate, be opposites, and not connect as peers and friends. My own mother said that she did not conform to the female stereotype since she is very assertive and confident with herself regardless of risking anyone calling her “bitchy”, is a great driver, takes up space with her body language, and did not aspire to be the married housewife that she currently is.

My respondents' explanations of why they were or were not fitting the stereotypes of their gender identity were reflective of their cultural competence in that they were all given a set of gender binary glasses at birth that identify certain traits and behaviors as male or female. Even the one person that did identify with their gender stereotype could have very well only identified with the stereotypical woman since that is what society encourages her to do. Before birth, our nurseries are designed based on our expected gender. Society takes gender and tells us what colors we should like, what our hobbies should be, who our friends should be, what kinds of jobs we should have, what kind of media we should consume, what kind of music we should listen to, how we should dress, who our role models should be, and how we should behave. Essentially, our entire life is supposed to be going in one rigid way due to a gender identity alone, regardless of what we really want or who we really are. Stereotypes themselves are oversimplified and distorted by definition, so organizing our whole world based on gender stereotypes distorts the way we view the world and definitely oversimplifies both male and female-identified people. If most people do not identify with the stereotypes that their gender identity assigns them, it means that the foundation of how our society runs is based on false ideas and misconceptions about people. Our society is basing everything on limiting and made-up ideas. I wonder what life would look like if that were to change. If the stereotypes are not found in many of the people we know, the idea that most people conform to them comes from a society that seeks to put all genders in a limiting category. I encourage readers to see for themselves and ask their own friends and family, "Do you think you are a stereotypical man or woman?"